I'm in a reflective mood, and i've not just been thinking back over this month, but the whole year. Christmas is a time to come together with your family and share joy and laughter. This year, something has dimmed about Christmas, i lost the giddy feeling. In June of this year, my Grandpa sadly passed away suddenly of cancer. It was shit, he was the rock of our family and we haven't quite gotten used to functioning without him. Last Christmas he was alive and jolly, this Christmas i had to wish him a Merry Christmas from the foot of his grave. It will never be the same, and i'm slightly bitter about that.
I've matured alot this year, i feel like i've been nudged out of the nest and i'm taking my first flying lessons. Leaving school was definitely a highlight of the year, if you followed my old blog you'll know just how much i hated school, hated hated hated it. I wasn't bullied or anything, just everything about it gave me a headache. It all paid off in August when i opened my results and got 5 A's, 4 B's and 3C's! This also meant me trotting off to college. It was a bit rocky to start with but all is settled, although i've recently took a step back to see how much it's been taking over my life and i'm unhappy with this. There are alot of things which are more important to me and i've been letting college over rule these things. The bus stresses me out. Subjects i don't want to do but have no choice, are over taking the subjects i enjoy. I have no time to socialise, i was stressed and tired all the time, making me not a very nice person to be around. I was getting my priorities wrong and in the new year, i intend to change this.
Last year i began a healthy lifestyle all thanks to Scola, YouTube her now she is ah-maz-ing. I've always started diets half-heartedly and they lasted 3 days maximum, but watching Scola's videos gave me the kick up the backside i very much needed. I lasted pretty well, i lost 1 stone over the whole year which to me is incredible. I know i could have done much better if i put my mind to it, although life happenings and stress made it all too easy nom on chocolate. I see last year as a trial run and this year i am determined to throw away the unhealthy me for good. If Scola does another six month challenge, i am definitely going for it!
I can't think of any other big things that have happened this year, i just feel like i've been pushed along and my life has turned a new course, i'm nervous and excited of what will happen next year. This time last year i definitely didn't expect this year to turn out the way it has, and i'm sure my expectations of next year will not happen as i wish, although i am a believer of everything happens for a reason.
I am currently enjoying my break and lounging around in comfy Primark pj's and a hoodie, it's all about the comfort. I've only just allowed myself to think of college and the work that needs doing, i shouldn't stress myself out and leave it till the last minute. I'm watching Miranda series 3 which Santa kindly put in my stocking, candles are lit, Christmas tree lights are on and i feel good. I've also been venting my feelings and thoughts into a diary daily now, which definitely helps.
In July it seemed i got very excited about Autumn and Christmas seeing as summer was pretty much over, well it seems i am excited about Summer now. When i pass my driving test i'm looking forward to going on road trips to the beach, and this summer i am determined to be confident wearing a bikini. Summer bodies are earned in the Winter, so i better get my workout clothes on! I've also been listening to summer music, my favourite is by Inna, her music always makes me happy and also, she gives me inspiration to go and work out! Her most recent single i have been replaying for weeks, and i'm still not bored of it
I hope you all have an excellent new year!
Laura x
